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"Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love." Gabriel García Márquez "Sex is great until you die but it's never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery.".


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1. "He's definitely thirsty tonight." Image: Giphy 2. "That teabag was actually better the second time around." Related story A Cursed List of Bad Pickup Lines to Make You Cringe (& Laugh Too).


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"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." — Mae West Funny Sexy Quotes On Self Assured Women: "Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part" Aimee Mullins "Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."-Sophia Loren


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(Robert Byrne) "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." (P. J. O'Rourke) Anyhow, I.


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1. "Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, love don't make things nice — it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess. We.


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You're so hot, my zipper is falling for you. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me? I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them? Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes expires tomorrow, so why don't you help me use it?


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100 Funny Love Quotes From Comedians That Describe Your Crazy Relationship Because love is funny-strange, but it's also funny ha-ha. By YourTango — Written on Nov 12, 2021 Photo:.


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I don't even know where the box is.". "A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.". "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.". "I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.". "I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.".


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"I don't need a runway to show off my super sexy self." "I may not have the height of a supermodel, but my sex appeal is off the charts." "Supermodels may have the spotlight, but I've got the real star quality." "Who needs to be a supermodel when you're super sexy in your own skin?"


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That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.". —Jack Handey. 6. Bob: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.". Peter: "I wouldn.


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Aside from a few… inclinations. This might be odd at first for newer partners: People have different comfort levels with their kinky habits: When you accidentally view their Amazon product recommendations: Things can be quite different as a grown-up: Sometimes, your more vanilla partner (s) might be a bit scared to try something new.


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Sexy sayings and quotes. We present 100 funny and possibly useful quotes about love from 100 comedians. Sex is not the answer yes is the answer shortcuts cut life short the future is shaped by your dreams so stop wasting time and go to sleep funny good morning quotes and wishes.


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11. "I'm gracing you with my presence.". — Kourtney Kardashian. 12. "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.". — Eleanor.


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You just left, and I already miss you! First song on the radio, and it reminds me of you. I got you a one-way ticket…to my heart. You mentioned you like bed and breakfasts. I'll bring the bed.


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Carmen Electra. All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough.-Angelina Jolie. Break my bed, not my heart. If my boyfriend finds me sexy, then I don't need that kind of male attention from anyone else.-Alexa Chung. I was warned about you, you know.


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1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." ―Mindy Kaling 2. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos." —Stanley Hudson, The.